Halloween

Understanding Real and Fake
Have you ever wondered why some things are widely accepted at Halloween and so deeply inappropriate at other times of the year?

By Vanessa Kahlon

As adults we have the ability to sort through the social norms associated with this holiday, and it is automatic to us that when we see a grave on someone's front lawn that it's fake. Strangers aren't allowed to give kids candy for 364 days a year, but on Halloween it is totally OK. So, what can we do to help these kids understand Halloween?

(1) Be really upfront about the difference between REAL and FAKE.

When you are at the store, take a walk through the Halloween aisle.If your child is scared, hold his/her hand and make it quick - you don't want to

traumatize the poor kid, but you do want to desensitize them. When kids have been exposed to the skeletons, masks and other spooky items, it becomes less scary for them on the night of Halloween. Allow them to touch the items, press buttons on battery-operated toys and laugh with them because they are all pretend. They are just toys!

(2) Explain why it is OK to joke about death at Halloween and not OK the rest of the year.

Death is usually treated as a very sad topic, and suddenly in October there is a holiday celebrating blood and gore. If you don't explain to your child about time and place, things could get very awkward next time a kid comes into school saying their Grandma passed away. A great way to reinforce the idea is to use role play - or for older kids - car rides are a great time to discuss the purpose and history of Halloween.

(3) Always accompany your kids when they go Trick or Treating.

It is unsafe for kids to get candy from people they do not know for every other day of the year. It seems like a very 80's concept, but stranger danger is still something to consider. In the interest of our children's safety, make sure you explicitly explain to your child that they should never eat or accept candy from people they don't know without first checking in with an adult that they do know.

(4) Encourage them to be a part of the holiday, for social skilling purposes.

Being part of a group is difficult for kids with social difficulties. Just because somebody is scared of something doesn't mean they should automatically be exempt from it - we would never grow as whole people if we refused to face our fears.

Have fun - and Happy Halloween!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Vanessa L. Kahlon, MA Founder & Executive Director Kahlon Family Services, LLC Behaviour and Early Intervention Services Yoga Education for Autism Spectrum (YEAS) 415-971-8214