From the Editor’s Desk - My Amma

By Meena Yeggina

Amma, mom, maa, mummy so on and so forth. So many names to call her yet so elusive in comprehending. Mother, that all encompassing creature, that all pervading being and that all knowing infringement in one’s life is in reality a mystery.  No definition can really capture the depth of a mother’s love, commitment and dedication.  Cultures could be different, boundaries could have been drawn differently in each civilization but a mother’s feelings for her offspring is beyond such boundaries and borders.

Since the times I can remember, I have always taken my mother for granted. She’s there for me. That’s all. Her love for me is unconditional and nonjudgmental. I have known this for a fact. And in several ways I have abused this knowledge. Sometimes unconsciously and other times consciously.

The knowledge that I can tell her any of my secrets and get away with it without risking her love for me always gave me a power over her. The power of security.

Please dont misunderstand me. I love my mom. Immensely. Sometimes so much that I dont know how to express it. But this love doesnt motivate me to go out of my way and do things for her. Which I would do for my daughter or son. Just to see a smile on her/his face I would spend hours standing in line to get something special for them for christmas. I am too busy with my own kids that I forget that my mom needs me too. Not so much then when I was young but now, when she is not so young. Not so much when I was young and she was young too but now, when I have reached my mid life and she has crossed that part of her life for some time now. I understand now that her needs have changed from giving to wanting some expressive love.

I can say with 100 percent conviction that she was the first who cared for me with pure unselfishness––not for what I represented or what I accomplished, or what I was expected to be. But because of who I was, her daughter. For her the world revolved around her kids. She didnt know how to bring them up “intelligently” in modern terms. She didnt know competitors, APs, Ivy Leagues or SATs. She just brought us up with nothing to offer but love. Sending us to school on time, oil in my hair, dress ironed, feeding us yogurt rice after school, solving our sibling problems, listening to our stories, pretending to understand our text books as we rattled off our memorized poems or text, ( as in English Vinglish, my mom could not speak or understand English) and just being there. That’s all her world was. Like Yashoda, who refused to believe her Krishna’s mischief, my mom refused to believe that I am an average looking, medium heighted, not so smart child. To her, I am the best. Whenever I got a bad grade or have done some mischief I was worried about my dad yelling at me but never my mom. She used to be upset but not enough for me to worry about her feelings. She loves me still. That was the secure feeling I grew up in. And at that time I did not realize this gift God bestowed upon me and my brother in the form of my mother. I just took it gor granted. Now I don’t. And I am so grateful.

For most of the dads kids are social symbols. They too love equally but that love also revolves around prestige, achievements, awards. Moms love to see their kids prosper too. But that achievement is not conditional. Mostly, moms love is unconditional which all of us can relate to.

She was there every moment of my life, directly or indirectly, sharing my joys or sorrows, ups and downs, wrongs and rights. There is a saying about God creating mom as guardian angel to each one of us as he himself cannot be with us all the time. The fierce love a mother can give her child can only be the creation of God as it is beyond human comprehension. A mother is a mixture of love, pride, anger, jealousy, misery, dedication and sacrifice.

On this mother’s day, in addition to remembering our mothers and doing something for them, I am requesting all of you to go beyond. I want you to remember those who are away from their mothers. Taken away, either forcefully, or sold due to poverty to a lust and greed-filled pimp. At 3 or 4 years of age they are abducted and forcefully sold into prostitution. No mothers to protect in this dark, horrendous, lust and violent filled world. Kept in cages (popular in Mumbai), they are sold as virgins to those who believe that AIDS can be cured by having sex with a virgin (See The Day My God Died on youtube to learn more). India is ranked second in the world in child prostitution. Please help a child get her childhood back, maybe even her mother back after her freedom. Apne Aap is one such organization that helps kids free themselves from this bondage. Ruchira Gupta, an Emmy Award winner and a true soul, dedicated her life to this cause. If you want to help a child on this mother’s day, help a child who has no mother and is being violently abused every hour, every day. To see an interview with Ruchira and to donate for this cause (Anything from $10 would do) please go to http://www.crowdrise.com/apneaapinternational-RFW/fundraiser/sindhuravuri and help a child. I cannot tell you what it would mean to a child. Moreover, only we, mothers, can understand what it can mean to an innocent child.