IS INDIA A COUNTRY OF ONLOOKERS?

The year for us Indians started off with a shocking, offending, depressing and nauseating rape tragedy. However, it was that incident that left a ray of hope upon by the brave victim herself, as the persistent efforts of Indian youth, both men and women, with candles and torches, did not let us down. While the violent gang rape of a young female scientist in a moving bus is extremely disturbing, more horrifying is the fact that after the victim and her friend were thrown out of the bus they became objects of curiosity and discussion by the onlookers. Lying on the road naked and bleeding, they stayed that way for 40 minutes without no one even coming forward to cover them with a piece of cloth! What kind of country is this? Where will we go in the future? One excuse Indians give for noninterference is that we are scared of getting into “cop” trouble. But at what cost is this fear? Such escapism? So what if we die helping others? Is it not worth saving another life? So what if the police harasses us a little bit in the name of justice? (God that sure sounds ironic!) But at least maybe that poor girl would have been saved. Maybe. Frankly until this incident, I would never have believed that human beings can simply stare at another human beings’ misery at no obvious threat to their safety.

A strange incident happened recently (way before the Delhi incident took place) which planted a seed of serious doubt about my Indian clan. It’s very minor compared to what happened in Delhi but it gives a glimpse of our average Indian psyche and how it happened here, in the US.

It has been almost a quarter century since I have been to this country and living in the US. In all these years nothing like this ever happened to me from my fellow Indians. I planned a mothers-and-daughters outing to go to a movie called Jab Tak Hain Jaan. We were eight people in total and, as the kids wanted to eat before the movie, I volunteered to go early and reserve seats at the IMC Mercado. I was able to save great seats, and came almost one and half hours early to do so. Unfortunately, my kids got late and were on their way. When the hall was almost half full and the best seats were taken, came in a young man of about 26 years of age who appeared to have just come from India. He sat right in the middle of my reserved seats, removing my jacket (or whatever I have placed to reserve) with a smirk on his face and giving me a nasty look. I told him that I had reserved those seats and had come almost two hours early to do so. He just smirks and says “My wish, I’ll sit wherever I want, you go tell the management.”

I was shocked. I was tired after a long day’s work, standing in line for this junk movie (my child loves Shah Rukh Khan) and now this punk is threatening to take my reserved, most preciously held seats. I got up from my seat and stood right in front of him and told him to move away or I will ask my kids to just pull him away physically after they come. He didn’t budge. I looked behind. A row of onlookers, a little younger than me perhaps, were simply looking at the tamasha. They too had seats reserved but I was the only one alone in my group, so I had no support. I asked them, the onlookers, to help me and tell the guy to go away. They just stared as if I have committed a crime. They even laughed at me. I had the guts to ask their help. One of them, a woman, by the way said, “Maybe if you had asked nicely, he would have moved!” I was rooted in my spot with shock! I come here like a good citizen, early, reserve my seats, and simply sit there minding my business; comes in a brash loser, late, lazy and demanding to take my seat. If he wanted a good seat all he had to do was come early. And I am supposed to beg him, cajole him and gently request him, ‘Bhayya, please, I beg of you, please give me back my seat. It’s my fault I came early. You are mahapurush, have mercy, please give me back my seat!” I wondered what would have happened if that lady’s seat has been usurped instead! I simply stared, too numb and shocked to respond. My Bharat and my Indians are simply superb. At that minute it didnt strike me that I am the editor of a magazine! All I could have done is take a picture of the lady and the guy with my phone and publish their faces along with this article. After all isn’t media the bane of all law enforcement? Or maybe I should have at least threatened them to do so. Finally looking at my tired yet angry face, the guy went away, throwing me another of his precious smirks.

At that time no gang rape nor protests had taken place in Delhi yet - the discussions, the prejudiced comments of out leaders and swamis blaming the victim see featured-article.php?id=17), and the dreadful night of onlookers-are not known. Now if I think back, I realized how easily our desi men and women can sit or stand simply looking at a horrifying scene or not so horrifying incident (in my case), doing nothing but just blaming the victim. They simply can, whether watching a simple seat-theft incident or a serious gang rape, with same aplomb. In fact a Swami ji even said the same thing that the woman advised me to do “If the victim had begged the rapist to show mercy and call him bhayya, she would have been spared!” Blaming the victim again.

Why? I have no idea. If this seat-snatching happened to me by another man/woman belonging to another country or race, I could have found a hundred reasons to explain it away. But my own country persons! Maybe it’s the fear, or imbedded in their culture (that preaches dont meddle with other people’s issues even if they are dying), or maybe we are a bunch of bad, mean people always wanting to usurp other people’s belongings, be it dignity or kind, or even a seat!

What happened in India is horrific. But more horrific is the fact that such incidents continue to occur if we remain a country of onlookers with the “Rang de Basanthi” candle syndrome. India now desperately needs people who can respond to a tragedy not merely by lighting candles but by revolting, forcing the law into serious action, helping victims and raising a loud voice at the culprit. Culprits should not be feeling that they can get away with inappropriate behavior either in public or private. For a country with one billion people, we are a meek bunch–– swelling with false pride, stuck in prejudices and religious fanaticism, making rounds to swamiji ashrams, and having no value to human dignity at all.

I am ashamed to see a young Indian that usurped my seat with such substandards. I would expect decent behavior from a young man, who traveled all the way from India and living in a foreign country in the hope of making a living and better his conditions, to at least be cautious and kind. Forget about etiquette, most young men and women coming fresh from India lack even the basic decency. They are so absorbed with themselves. Now, it looks like they think rowdy behavior is okay too! And we older generation just watch them, taking it in our stride, sometimes secretly enjoying the other person’s plight and discomfort. God! If two or three people in support of each other can raise a voice against such ruffians, they will dare not repeat such behavior. Interestingly, same ruffian will not behave so with a Caucasian or Chinese. They know they cannot get away with it!

What we as a community of Indians should learn is that we cannot tolerate bad, inappropriate behavior. And standing up to bad behavior should not be considered deviant and out of place or honor. And most of all support each other in times of need –– without fear or favor!

- Meena Yeggina