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Life Lessons Form Psychology

Life Lessons Form Psychology
By Dr. Ravi Chandra

Recently, the editors of Psychology Today asked their bloggers “What important life lesson from Psychology would you pass onto your children?”  (My blog at Psychology Today is called “The Pacific Heart”.)  The answers will appear in the March/April issue of PT.  My answer was as follows:

"The most important lesson is, I think, about the primitive, survival brain.  Fear of loss, isolation, abandonment, etc - are a "death threat" to the amygdala which pushes us into "fight or flight" mode.  The most important work lies in understanding one's fear and anger, soothing the amygdala, and generating love, compassion and wisdom from our cerebral cortex.  Or, as Rick Hanson writes:  ‘Pet the Lizard (the reptilian survival brain), Feed the Mouse (the mammalian reward-centered brain) and Hug the Monkey (the nurturance-focused primate brain).’”

Life is about growth, insight and understanding.  As South Asians, we are very blessed to have spiritual traditions that promote internal reflection, wisdom and compassion.  Some of the most fascinating and cutting-edge work in psychology today, in my view, brings together insights and practices from Buddhism, contemporary neuroscience, and modern psychology.  I hope to talk about some of that over the coming months.

Husband and Wife on BeachOne of the downsides of South Asian culture (and non-western cultures more broadly) is that we are often reluctant to seek professional help for mental health.  Many feel it’s difficult to discuss private or family matters with a “stranger”. Some feel that one must solve one’s problems on one’s own.  Others feel they should be able to solve their problems through discussion with family members or a religious guide.  The idea that someone (perhaps from a different cultural background) could understand you and your culture is hard to believe.  Some even find it more difficult to talk to a professional of South Asian background.  Why is that?  Well, some people feel that a fellow South Asian will make assumptions or judge them based on cultural background.  Others think that seeing a “Western” therapist will help them adjust to Western society – or perhaps they even view themselves as more “Western” than South Asian.  For example, they grew up in the United States.  On the other hand, a psychological professional is an expert at all dimensions of mental well-being - psychological, cultural, social, spiritual - and in a psychiatrist's case, biological as well.

I grew up in the United States as well, and work with patients from all ethnic backgrounds.  In my private practice, I do primarily weekly, hour-long therapy with individuals.  (I also work at a community mental health clinic where I do medication consultation and management with uninsured and Medicare/Medical patients in San Francisco.)  Therapy consists of understanding the person, all aspects of his or her life, and particularly what’s causing them current distress. We work together to understand patterns and bring underlying, unconscious issues to awareness.  My goal is to help patients overcome obstacles, lead happier lives, and discover and achieve their goals in life.  Therapy is successful through a sense of relatedness to an objective, empathic professional and the development of new insight and new experiences that overcome the issues causing distress.

I look forward to writing more columns in the upcoming months.

Ravi Chandra, M.D. is a psychiatrist and writer in San Francisco. www.sfpsychiatry.com.